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chapter 202 : You're not who you used to be
Unlike other people, I find it hard for me to eat when I'm upset or unhappy. Instead, I sleep away the sadness or the anger, and let time cool me off. Like just now, im having my lunch but then when I found out something, that thing really make me lost my appetite.

I started to cry. The tears rolled down. I dunno why im crying? Issit because im so angry or? Now I know. Im not angry but I just feel dissapointed. Yes, im so dissapointed on you. And now what I have to do is I need to stop giving someone my whole self, if I keep getting nothing in return.
I think I should love myself first before I want to love someone else. Im having a bad broken heart right now. And im sure no one can fix it. No one. Maybe I dont deserved to be happy. Cause every time I get the happiness it wont stay long. Sooner or later it will fade away. And this is it. It happen to me right now.

Stop asking me to cheer up. Stop saying everything is gonna be alright. Stop telling me everything! I dont wanna hear anything. Stop it, please. Im begging you. Please. Stop it! I cant take it anymore. Oh god. Why im so blind? You show me the hint but im so blind till I cant see it. Why im so stupid? Why I never learn the lesson? God damnit! Screw this! Fish this! Arghhhh!


While im sad-ing, Tyra sent me this song. Thanks, Tyra. The song keep playing like a thousand times. I hear it over and over again. Gahhh. I really have no clue. Im totally lost.

i dunno what to say ....
speechless ....

.....