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chapter 236 : Or was I addicted to the pain?
Apr 8, 2010 | comment | 0 comment(s)
Choose her :)
A guy like you deserves so much better than a lonely, heart-broken, fragile, tangled mess that is, me.
Right now, I am struggling to find a balance between passion and practically. It hurt so much to know you with her. You are everything I want and everything I will never have. I still remember every word you told me and I cant stop thinking about it.
How can I go foward when I dont know which way im facing? I found that one of the hardest parts in life is deciding when to give up and when to try harder.
Girl: Why cant you just stop thinking about it and follow your heart?
Me: Because, he broke my heart.
You know, after that day, I changed. I am no longer the same person I was two days ago. I dont know what is different, but I know I am not the same, and I know I never will be again. I am not the same person who believed in faith. I wont believe in ‘signs’ anymore, because they really dont mean anything, no matter how bad you wish or hope they do. As of right now, I dont even believe in love. There is no happily ever after, not in this world. At least not for me. Not now. Not ever.
Sometimes there is nothing to be said. Sometimes nothing should be said. I just want to find someone who wont run away. Someone to look me in the eyes and tell me its ok that things dont always go right. That this is how life works, and how it will always work. That its not going to be easy. Today, tomorrow, the next day, but it will somehow get better.
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