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chapter 187 : You still mean a lot to me.
Feb 9, 2010 | comment | 4 comment(s)

"Why you nak touching-touching pulak? Tah tah dia kata sana tgh happy-happy and you kat sini nak emo-emo?"

"You relax jela. Tak payah nak emo. Buat cam normal je"

Rasa cam nak reply ;; "YOUR HEAD!"

But I just replied ;; "Im not touching la!". Saja nak cover. Padahal memang terasa time tu.

Argh. FUCK. Kalau lah boleh tunjuk middle finger kat depan dia time tu. Sumpah terasa gila? Boleh dia advice kat aku mcm tu? X guna!

@!#$%$%$%$RCC@V%@#$ !!!

Im so broken up. I didnt left you. Really. Just, I cannot stand it. I rasa mcm ..... Sigh. I run away not because I want to get away from you, but I want you to catch me.

I need a vacation D:

Im always torn between wanting to tell my story to everyone to let them know exactly what is in my head and keeping it to myself. The problem is being outwardly unhappy and consistently so pushes people away, no matter if they say they're always there to listen there is only so much even your best friends can listen too. On the otherhand to pretend that everything is fine is to poison yourself from the inside out. It is to ignore who you are and lose yourself. So which is better? To have friends that think you are melodramatic, seeking attention, and possimistic or to drown in your own mind? I honestly dont know =/
This is exactly how I feel. Sigh. It hurts, you know? It hurts me alot :'((

My heart was cut deep and cast aside, & I’m so sick of this headache. Even if I beg on my knees, pound my chest, and cry, what was never to happen will not happen. Everytime she says she's okay, but she's going insane. She says she feels good, but she's going through a lot of pain. She says its nothing, but it's really everything. She says she's fine, but she's really not.

ㅠ________________________ㅠ brb crying my heart out.
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