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chapter #37 : i wanna tell u that
im kinda sad.















sigh.













feel so lonely....















i wish u were here...



















i already miss you, darling T.T

Labels: sad

chapter #36 : peekaboo!

nice number right?
i know. lol.
1 December 2008,
i will finish my SPM (:
today paper was okay, quite hard.
but still i can answer all the question (:

oh, before i reach home.
i met atiqah and she gave me weddin invitation card. lols.
is she gonna be marry? wth? haha.
no la. its her sister actually.
the weddin is on dis sunday at cheras.
im nt sure i will go or nt. no transport T.T
but i will try (:

me and wida had a tok about our plan afta spm
me and her will find a job.
1st month we gonna spend the time for holidays
and fr the next month, job hunting will start. haha
and guess what. dis morning, she told me she saw a ghost! wtf. hahaha
well, her story quite scary but i dunno. maybe her imagination only.

today i met ariff.
he came to my house. and we gt lil bit arguement here.
nvm. i used to it. we always gt fight. like cat dog. lol
i watch dat cartoon. LOL.
so yeah, he still emo-ing. but right nw im ok. lol.
already back to normal condition.
i dunno lar. haiz
today i gt no mood, cause i gt flu.
so i rly nt comfortable with myself.

i dunno why.
but im feeling like i wan to post about dis. haha.
cause its really a fun moment for me (:
fyi : im married to Dillon. LOL.
thank you to his friend, don.
for sponsor our weddin license. LOL.
and thanks to all fr comin on my weddin party (:

Labels: exam, games

chapter #35 : tagged 2
Tagged by Azrina Azlan;

1. What’s your ambition?
> im not sure. seriously. LOL

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boy/girlfriend?
> girlfriends (:

3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
> twice?

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
> i think so?

5. How many babies you want?
> 4? 2 girls, 2 boys. lol

6. Favorite perfume/fragrance?
> DKNY Be Delicious, baby!

7. What is your goal for this year?
> lose my weight (:
oh i already lose 5kg btw. hahas

8. Do you believe in the anti Christ?
> -.-

9. What’s a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend like to u?
> the one that always be there for me (:

10.What feeling do you love most?
> when he hugs me from the back.

11. What is your bad habit?
> choosy. haha

12. Is there anything you wanna tell the people who hates you?
> im the prettiest bitch u ever know (:

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
> yea? LOL

14. What does flying means to you?
> skip school. weee~

15. What do you crave for the most currently?
> go to the beach!

16. Who do you think is hotter, Chace Crawford or Kevin Peaker?
> Chace Crawford. damn! he's HOT!

17. Describe the person who tagged you in 7 words.
> youre the coolest (:

18.What have you done to yourself make yourself happy?
> playing games. lalala ~~

19. What will u become in another 10 years to come?
> 27? hmm.. more pretty? LOL.

Labels: tag tag

chapter #34 : tagged (:
Tagged by Azrina azlan;
Rules & Regulations:
*Do not copy answers
*The tag questions must be 100% the same
*Tag people after doing tag
*No tagging back

I tag :
[1] Ariff
[2] Dee
[3] Soleha
[4] Faiz
[5] Leya
[6] Thyra
[7] Wida
[8] Fahmi
[9] Farhan

How you know 1? [Ariff]
from myspce. lol

What would you do if you never meet 2? [Dee]
im gonna miss her T.T

What would u do if 3&4 dated you? [Soleha & Faiz]
lets go, baby! haha

Would 5 & 6 make a good couple? [Leya & Thyra]
good i think? LOL

Do you think 7 is attractive? [Wida]
She’s sweet (:

Do you know anything about 8’s family? [Fahmi]
err. i went to his house like twice?

Tell me something about 9 [Farhan]
hes single?

What language does 2 speaks? [Dee]
malay & english

Who is 3 going out with? [Soleha]
her boyfriend (:

How old is 4? [Faiz]
20 years old

When was the last time u talked to 5? [Leya]
last week.

Who is 6's favorite singer? [Thyra ]
david archuleta

Would you date 7? [Wida]
sure. why not? shes my girlfriend (:

Is 8 single? [Fahmi]
sry. hes taken :P

What is 9 last name? [Farhan]
Mutalib

Would you consider being in a relationship with 1? [Ariff]
HES MINE BTW. haha

Labels: tag tag

chapter #33 : soon, its gonna be over.


im addicted to this song. OMFG! lol.
yea. is miley cyrus. i listen to her song.
got problem with that? -.-

i really dont know what to do.
and i dont wanna go out cause i still got exam.
plus, i no cash rite now.
my dad giv me 10bucks only when i got exam.
if no exam, no money. that rly sucks.
damn. i feel like i live in the prison!

plan to go teluk batik, already confirm.
ariff gonna join us (:
3 days 2 night. thats gonna be fun, baby!
cant wait to go to the beach! hee :D

Labels: bored, holiday

chapter #32 : capital B

Labels: bored

chapter #31 : simple update

i dont know what to update. zz

ok, today i damn sleepy
cause yesterday i sleep at 4.30AM
study-ing, game-ing, call-ing.

ariff came by, and i dont bother him.
so sorry, sayang. i ngantuk sangat.
nanti i belanja u ice-cream ok? LOL.

people keep asking me.


here the answer.

1. HOLIDAY BABY! im wanna go to the beach!


2. color my hair
   


3. driving license
   


4. get a job
   

so yeah. benda ni je yang popup keluar. LOL.
i really dont know what say here.
cause everything is normal. so far (:

Labels: normal

chapter #30 : upside down
dear stranger,
i should not trust you at the first place!
you ruin everything!
i hate you more, more and MOREEEEEEEEE!!!

jus now i gt fight with ariff.
omfg. please la. im tired of this bullshit.
i know its my fault. ENOUGH LA.
past is the past! i wont do that again!!
then, i switch off my phone. nah! i feel good!

we fight fr stupid things. lame la.
all he do is nag, nag and nag! and never stop!
too bad i got nagging boyfriend. zzz.
spoil my mood only. sia la.

the whole day, im playing audi.
damn. i shud go study now.
i gt science paper 1 & 2 on this monday.
no paper on tuesday.
and got paper on wednesday which is agama. sigh.
i scare i fail agama. last time i pass. scare fail again.
well, im nt paying attention when it turns to agama.

gosh, i really nid to workout.
its been long time i didnt go to fitness.
tmr, ariff going to fitness. sigh.
wish i can go. miss the jacuzzi. LOL.

uh oh. now im fucking broke!
its all because i forgot to bring exam slip!! ggrrr!
and kena charge 5bucks. suay betul!
then, kena charge lagi duit cab. duh!
now i no money -.-

sad case. haiz.

Labels: stress

chapter #29 : life is getting better

lolol. guess what.
i fell asleep on comp desk. wth. LOL.
that is the first time i spent my time with dar like crazy. LOL.
we start play audi around 2PM and end up like 4.30AM.
itu pun sebab i tertidur. LOL.
shud be offline around 2am something.
but then, i cant sleep and he pei me. thank you, dar (:

that moment, i was waiting text from ariff.
tapi x dapat pun. maybe he dah tidur.
so yeah. i wake up, 7am itu pun i terjaga. LOL.
then, i exit, walk to my bed. and ZZzzZZ!
i wake up like 1 something. damn sleepy!
agree with fahmi. main game mmg addict.

ariff ask me to follow him mandi sungai tmr. wth?
by, u tau x i ni SPM? lol.
plus, mandi sungai waktu pagi pulak tu. crazy. zzz
im so gonna get flu attack later. hahaha.
i wish i can join him. but i cant. haiz.

oh, leya's father lagi gila. zz
since today no paper,
her dad nak holiday dekat pulau tioman. WTF?
with the family. lol. means, leya pun ikut la.
dis one oso crazy. lol

today i gt fight with ariff.
fight of the day : bout choosing celcom or maxis.
lame. i know -.-
but, i love him (:

Labels: games

chapter #28 : you cant turn back.

TO THIS PERSON ;;

no need to sacrifice for NOTHING (:
you just waste your time, girl. seriously.
for your information,
im not jealous about you and him were together.
AND THATS SO NOT GONNA BE HAPPEN!

i dont care and i dont wanna know bout it.
what for i wanna be SOOOO jealous
for the person who TALKIN BEHIND MY BACK?
i dont wanna waste time to think and emo for it.
why i behaving like this?
think bout it. you know the answer (:

Labels: calm

chapter #27 : im in love with you

YOU, SUCKS!

u block me then suddenly u show up?
WHAT THE FUCK?
and asking me whr is your girlfriend?
WHAT THE HELL? zzz

...............

mathematics, totally 100% sucks. zz
i cannot answer all the question. damnit!
please, god. i dont wanna fail for dis subject ><
today i reach home early since my paper finish at 12.30pm
tmr, no paper.i didnt take the subject : tasawwur.
err. i dont know how to spell. LOL. whatever.

i met ariff at pekeliling and he came to my house
lepak-ing. laugh-ing. dance-ing, etc. lol
its really fun when ur boyfriend do the stupid stuff. LOL

oh btw, ariff lost his phone. dun ask.
for now, he using my sisters' phone.
he gonna get one soon.
for friends, ask me if u wan his number. thank you (:
for stranger, please let me kill you first. then you can have his number. hahas!

oh u know. ariff kan drop kat my house.
then when he nak balik, no more public transport tau. LOL!
sad case. lol. lastly, my dad sent him to ktm.
oh wait. no la. last minute i dapat tau, my dad anta dia smpai rumah!
what the hell? lol. u lucky, sayang. haha.

Labels: happy, loved

chapter #26 : no title
im not feeling very well today.
headache. sigh.

English, quite easy.
History damn hard fr paper 2.
must answer in essay.
shyt. i hate history! think im gonna fail. haiz.

leya was right.
now i know the truth.
thank you, sayang for the info. lols
well, people can change. fullstop (:

oh, since fahmi dah advance ada blog kan?
ariff pun nak turut serta. LOL!
click here
rajin2 la tulis blog ye sayang (:
hmm. i really dont know what to say right now.
so tmr, mathematics paper 1 & 2.
jyjys me! (:

toddles!

Labels: normal

chapter #25 : first day
sejarah paper 1 damn hard. sigh.
start at 11.10am and i finish dat paper
let see.. at 11.30am? LOL!
i tot nak keluar dowh frm dewan. tapi x boleh. pengetua x bagi. sial!
haha. sial lagi. LOL?

bm paper was okay la. quite easy.
hmm.. okay okay la. LOL. x da la senang sangat.
nak kata susah pun x jugak.
so yeah. boleh la. LOL!

uh, guess what. ariff sleep over at my house.
OH! MY! GOD! hahahaha!
yeah. he sit at beside me right now.
and watching what am i doing. LOL.

gila surprise wey. x penah2 mamat ni tidur umah aku. zz. lols
since he ada kat sini, of cuz la i x boleh nak study. LOL
but im happy la. he dapat sleep over kat sini kan. heee. hahas
and of cuz he tido kat luar! HAHAHA!

so for tmr, english paper 1 & 2 and sejarah paper 2.
geez, i think im gonna drop sejarah dowh.
OMG. i just hate history! -.-

Labels: exam, happy, loved

chapter #24 : finally

Labels: exam

chapter #23 : @#@%@#^%$!!!!!
aku menyampah dengan kau la sial!
stop pretending depan aku la sial!
kau mmg sial!
stop acting like you care bout me sial!

SIAL!

such a backstabber, sial!!
shooo! go away from my life, sial!
aku x perlukan orang macam kau sial!
kau mmg xberguna la siallllll!

sial ah. aku mmg bengang ngn kau sial!
eeee!
kau mmg sial.
pompuan sial penah aku jumpa.
aku x expect kau se-sial mcam ni sial!
kenapa la kau sial sgt?!

apa yg aku nak, kau pun nak, sial!
apa yang aku ada, kau pun nak ada jugak!
mmg sial ah!
cube jgn ikut aku la sial!
go get a life, sial!

stop talkin behind my back la, sial!
ure just making me famous, sial!
nnt kau jealous, macam mana sial?!!
lagi menyusahkan hidup aku la, kimak!

aku benci kau, sial!

ps: sorry. i cannot control it. she damn fuckin sial! sial.

Labels: annoyed, stress

chapter #22 : great news
2330.
me in my rm and my sis call me frm the living room.

sis, me

ingat tau, kita gi 7dec, hari ahad.
and balik 8dec, hari isnin.
hari isnin tu, kita raya rumah kawan aku tu tau
kawan? yang mana?
yang hari tu la.
oh. yeah ryte. "kawan" =.=
if ko nak bawak kawan kau sekali pun x pe
kawan aku? siapa?
ariff la.
oh. later la tanya dia.

hahaha! he oso join us to teluk batik!
weee ~~
seriously, cant wait.
if jadi. like betul2 jadi. insyaAllah.
this is our 1st vacation - together. hahas.

got beach over there. can walk at the beach. aww. haha.
watch the sunset. haiz. haha
im such a daydreamer. lol.

ya ya. SPM 1st.
i know, i know. zz

iloveyou, muhammad ariff kamaruzaman!
xoxo

Labels: happy, loved

chapter #21 : a normal day
SPM : 3 days left

yeah. i still got time to blogging.
urgh. stop pushing me to study. i know i know.
but sometimes u dont need to study like 24/7
my parent went out. and they left me alone. zzz.

hmm. i buat pizza today. and x jadi. sebab dia keras. haha
hello? last i buat pizza. hmm.. tahun lepas kot?
bukan x boleh makan langsung. haha. boleh la. haha.
very sarcastic, my family.
suddenly, they use flatware and cutlery.
normally, hentam je. ciss. ketara okay? haha

my parent, going to indonesia soon.
me and sis planning to go teluk batik. muahahaha.
dun ask. zz. lol. its her idea. not mine.
and and...
i plan dengan ariff nak g pangkor.
weeeee ~~
i love pangkor. its nice.
omg. cant wait dowh! hahaha.
just the two of us, sayang <333

so, lets talk about SPM
i start on tuesday, 11 November and finish on, 1 December 2008.
1 month, huh? nope. only 3 weeks.
i have to face 8 papers.
6 subjek asas dan 2 subjek tambahan.
afta spm, im free ~
got the freedom! lol.
wish me luck, guys (:

oh btw, thanks you, azrina. hahaha.
for the full name. iloveyou <33

Labels: normal

chapter #20 : a walk to remember

Labels: emo-ing, sad

chapter #19 : you've been tagged
Tagged by Farhan.

A. Attached or Single?
* u guess (:

B. Best Friend?
* my girlfriends <333

C. Cake or pie?
* cake. but no chocolate cake pls (:

D. Day of choice?
* saturday.

E. Essential item?
* computer, baby!

F. Favorite colour?
* pink, of course.

G. Gummy bears or worms?
* gummy bears la idiot. lol

H. Hometown?
* KL? lols

I. Favorite indulgence?
* uh.

J. January or July?
* may pls? haha

K. Kids?
* i hate kids. zz. but nak kids jugak la. lols

L. Life isn’t complete without?
* MONEY $_$

M. Marriage date?
* 10 march 2012. sila datang ye (:

N. Number of brothers and sisters?
* 1 bro and 2 sis

O. Oranges or Apples?
* i dont eat oranges or apples. ty.

P. Phobias?
* bicycle. LOL!

Q. Quotes?
* Far in distance, but near at heart, you'll always be the angel of my heart.

R. Reasons to smile?
* hahaha.

S. Season of choice?
* spring

T. Tag people
* zrina, soleha, dee and YOU!

U. Unknown fact about me?
* err. ada la. haha

V. Vegetable?
* carrot.

W. Worst habit?
* haha. sama mcm farhan. duduk dpn com. x tido pun xpe. lol

Y. Your favorite type of food?
* fast food kot?

Z. Zodiac sign?
* taurus.

Labels: tag tag

chapter #18 : you are my sunshine (:
hahas. im so happy today! lol.
no mood for emo-ing. LOL!
but only for today. LOL

got bunga-bunga around me. omg. hahaha.
i just cant stop smiling! hahahaha
i love this feeling.
thank you for cheer me up (:
u make my day (:
ily for that <333 haha
at 1st, we like... err.. shy.
but then. hahaha. i dunno. hahaha.
i keep smiling until right now ((:

oh. my headphone. still missing. haiz.
stupid sia. i dunno whr i throw it.
ariff came to my house.
and i ask him to find it. sigh.
still x dapat jugak. haiz i have to buy the new one.
duit lagi. money money money. i no money la. im broke. zz

i didnt go to sch (:
cause its thursday.
got history. haha.
uh. ppl askin me "who hurts u? why so emo?" hahas.
sry. i wont answer that question.
its not that i dun wanna share.
its private and confidential. hahaha.
and more to personal stuff (:
so yeah. sry guys.
but thank you for asking.
iloveyouuu, guys <3333

Labels: happy

chapter #17: My mind tells me to give up
Time passes as I watch you walk away,
The tears start to express what i cannot say,
You have turned your back to me forever,
I cannot bear to live again, never.

Emptiness and darkness
envelope me from everywhere,
Loneliness and regret consume me,
I'm unable to share,
I'm alive and I'm still breathing,
And yet, my heart seems to have
stopped beating.

I start to wish if we had never met,
The affection and care
u showed me all gone,
What choice do i have,
but to sit back and mourn?
I'm sick and tired of being alone,
My dreams are all battered and torn,
My trust, my faith seems
so meaningless now,
I'm unable to take this pain anymore.

Yet my heart tells me to forgive,
To let go of the past, to let the love live,
But a broken heart cannot think any good,
It's probably reacting just the way it should.

How you can change
all those lies to nothing, just fun.
It hurts to know how
I've been played with and toyed.

I carry my broken heart with me,
It's mending, I'll never get to see,
Looking back at you,
I will try to refrain,
I'm not falling for it ever again.

Labels: broken heart, disappointed, emo-ing

chapter #16 : I don't know anything at all
IM PERIOD -.-
i really cannot control myself. so i can "boom!" just like that.
and easily to get hurt.
so, please. watch ur words.
seriously, im in emo condition. tahap critical.

this post shud be 04 Nov.
too bad i cannot online yesterday.
internet sucks. no connection.
so yeah. since i cannot online...
i gt nth to do... i found this file in my documents.
hmm.. its my chat logs.
i also dunno i gt save all the history?

i decide to read it.
even i know it gonna hurts my feeling.
.........
my tears rolled down.
gosh. i still cannot forget bout the past.
everyday i try, its gettin hard.
like, its stuck in my head!

why shud i think bout him?
if he already forget bout me. sigh.

Labels: broken heart, disappointed, emo-ing, sad

chapter #15 : MISSING!

Labels: sad, stress

chapter #14 : it's over.



today, when i wake up
suddenly, i remember dis word, "ilyvm"
gosh. this is hard for me. really hard.
i try to be strong and try to face it.
but i cant. im so weak. i cannot forget all the memories. it just, hard.

yesterday, i told leya bout this.
thanks babe for being there for me.
she understand me. she know how i feel.
thank you for your advice, your support. i really appreciate it.
and thanks to wida too. for being a good listener.
i love you guys to death <333


the quote. it so true.
when i think bout it again,
only god knows how i feel.
it hurts me alot. im stress.
maybe i should try to face it slowly.
like what leya told me to do,
"try it slowly. you x boleh erase everything, poof! just like that"

i still cant believe.
everything juz nice. perfect.
and suddenly, .....

i admit that im happy when im with you
all the sweet time. i wont forget.

Labels: broken heart, disappointed, emo-ing, lonely

chapter #13 : how i feel about you

Labels: lonely